We’ve all been there in negotiations; you want something, they want something else, and you can’t reach an agreement.
Sitting at lunch one day Bill told us a story about how he helped to negotiate the end of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Both sides had their metaphorical fingers on the button, and he knew he had to find common ground to avoid a huge disaster. He determined that neither side wanted and accidental nuclear war, and from this they negotiated peace.
He told me that the key was moving from positions to interests.
A position is a locked-in state of mind; I want this, if I don’t get it I lose, I want to win and I want you to lose.
When both sides take positions, there is no movement.
Interests are the why behind the positions. What is driving someone to take that stance?
When you can figure out someone’s interests, that opens the door to create solutions where everyone wins.
We worry about things that might not work out.
We are all a combination of our experiences of the past.
We don’t need to detach from our painful past.
The you today is different from the you a year ago.
Sometimes leadership is about creating a vision and bringing people along.
To love and be loved. Isn’t that all there really is?
Almost everyone I know who has achieved greatness in something, be that business, sports, the arts, they all began their journey to escape something.
There’s a lot of talk now about hiring people for attitude rather than skills.
When we want something, we are taught to visualise that thing, to focus on that image, until we have it.
There’s almost never a completely clean run.