We’ve all been there in negotiations; you want something, they want something else, and you can’t reach an agreement.
Sitting at lunch one day Bill told us a story about how he helped to negotiate the end of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Both sides had their metaphorical fingers on the button, and he knew he had to find common ground to avoid a huge disaster. He determined that neither side wanted and accidental nuclear war, and from this they negotiated peace.
He told me that the key was moving from positions to interests.
A position is a locked-in state of mind; I want this, if I don’t get it I lose, I want to win and I want you to lose.
When both sides take positions, there is no movement.
Interests are the why behind the positions. What is driving someone to take that stance?
When you can figure out someone’s interests, that opens the door to create solutions where everyone wins.
Failure is inevitable.
My brother is about to get married in London. Obviously, I’m heading over for the wedding, but I am on a flight out the next day to get back to run a wellbeing conference for doctors, three days after the wedding.
People often ask me what a ‘typical day’ looks like for me
There’s a tendency to gather information, and more information, and more information, indefinitely if a decision is important.
Your next 40 years will be determined by your next ten years.
A mantra I live by in business is, ‘tolerance is the enemy of excellence.’
Functional fixes are not solutions for existential misalignments.
If you’re buying your lunch from someone, what happens if he’s 20cms shorter than you?
It’s almost certain that what’s being agreed isn’t fully understood.