Knowing when to say ‘no’

You’re busy, I get that. So are we all.

You will have heard the advice that “You need to learn how to say no” I’m sure.

The question is, when do we apply this?

Warning, I’m going deep and meaningful here…

It starts with being clear on the Vision for your life, knowing exactly what you want it to look like, and your Purpose in life, knowing why it all matters.

Your subconscious mind is 30,000x more powerful than your conscious mind. It doesn’t make value judgements, rather it obeys your dominant thoughts and thinks in images and emotions.

People who don’t have a Vision for their life aren’t directly using their powerful subconscious minds to work for them, instead they are working against them. In addition, when you don’t know what the destination is almost any road might seem like the right one.

But it isn’t.

Any road will get you somewhere, but probably not somewhere you want.

When we are clear on our Vision and Purpose, when we have a clear target for our lives, we can process requests on our time against that target: Does this move me closer or further from that target?

If it moves you away then say no, if it moves you closer, say yes.

For example, a hugely important part of my Vision is my family and how I show up as a husband and father. As a result I generally don’t take meetings after 5pm so that I can be home between 5.30pm and 6pm to have a family meal, to play with my girls, and to spend quality time with Claire.

I have a filter to make decisions so saying ‘no’ is easy.

As with most things, this is a Mindset change that’s required, a prioritisation of what’s truly important, rather than learning the skill of saying ‘no’.

Get clear on what matters to you and let that be your filter and tell me